Warnings For Anyone Who Would Want To Marry Me

To the future we should both be prepared of

Thought Catalog

Dear Sir, (I don’t know how formal we are. You might be extra fancy.)

So, you think you want to marry me.


I would encourage you to think twice before committing to such a long-term undertaking. I have been engaged twice and to be quite frank I’m over the wedding cancelling thing. Know that if I choose to marry you I will stay cute, make you laugh, bake insanely good cookies to bring to your boss at Christmas, and I will generally support the crap out of you. However, there are bad things you must know upfront, which I cover in this letter. I will work on all of these, but you can’t marry someone expecting them to change- that’s Dr. Phil 101 so here it is- take it or leave it as it currently stands:

  • I will say “Let’s go to the beach!” and I’ll gleefully gather tons…

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